Canon Fodder – Sports Blog

By Joe Moskwa

It’s my turn to write about something on our lovely blog. Football is over, and there’s really not much I gamble on these days, so I think I’ll change it up today.

Let’s go right off the top of my head. Well, more like the INSIDE of my head.

We’ll talk about kids and sports. Just for a bit.

I played a ton of sports when I was a kid. I was actually pretty good at some of them too. I was even set to compete in college – a few of my coaches even gave me some tips on how to eventually get drafted. What I needed to work on, what kind of workouts I’d need to do for strength building in certain areas, etc.

Well, it’s safe to say it didn’t work out because I’m not a household name and on a cereal box. I ended up with a very annoying and nagging injury that still bugs me to this day; something equivalent to a NASCAR driver losing his right foot. But it wasn’t the only reason I’m not still competing. Things just don’t always work out, especially when odds of “making it” are about the same as winning Powerball.

My one complaint? No, it’s not that I don’t play sports anymore. I have a cool job and a great family, which I would never replace. What bothers me the most is that no one who was involved in the situation ever had the guts to say anything like, “Ya’ know, it’s almost impossible to make a career out of sports. Why don’t you just focus more on a real job and stop dreaming like a delusional moron.” I had a cousin try to tell me that, but she never saw me play so I just figured SHE was the moron. I remember being 13, and she was 18, and she said something like, “You’ll probably just end up hurting yourself or just realizing that you’re not that good. Maybe you should try to be more realistic.” Then my other cousin, her sister, who was a little older, told her something along the lines of, “Shut-up, dream crusher.”

Turns out the former cousin knew what she was talking about. Which causes me to wonder if being very realistic and rational is the way to go. Should more of us wise up and tell the others to cut it out?

I have small kids and if they start playing sports, what do I say when they insist that they’ll be a professional golfer? Do I say, “Nope, you’ll probably be a teacher or work some office job.”

Does that sound negative? Is it one of those things you can’t say to a child? Hold on. I golf a lot. I spend time at driving ranges. If I ever have a buddy with me at the range, I say the first person to spot “Tiger Dad” wins 5 bucks. Who is “Tiger Dad”? “http://www.amazon.com/Training-Tiger-Fathers-Raising-Winner/dp/0062701789″>Tiger Dad”, aka TD, is the dad with the 5-year-old son at the range. The son is trying to hit the ball, and the dad is yelling at the kid because he’s not driving it 300 yards down the middle. TD actually will SAY something like, “HOW ARE YOU EVER GOING TO EARN $30 MILLION A YEAR IF YOU CAN’T SWING A CLUB?!” And it’s plain as day the kid would rather be riding his bike. Watch out for TD next time at the range. He’s there EVERY day. Just look for him. I’ve spotted TD at batting cages too. I’ve seen SEVERAL dads actually shouting at their 7-year-olds that can’t even hit a 20 MPH machine-fed pitch. I’ve heard these EXACT words before: “How are you going to be the next A-Rod if you can’t hit???” The kid looked over like, “Who’s A-Rod”? So maybe it’s not so bad to tell your child that you’ll pay for their classes at the community college for a few years, and then they can finish up at a local university. That way, they can get an honest job as “Office-Rod”, not “A-Rod”.

So the big question today is, what do I do? Do I lie? Do I tell the truth?

I’m not talking about those fibs you tell your kids. (“Those dogs are just wrestling,” and, “If you don’t wear your gloves outside your hands will fall off.” My personal favorite is telling my daughter that if she keeps chewing her hair, then hair will grow on her tongue. Then I pull up a picture on Google of a hairy tongue, and show it to her. “THIS GUY CHEWED HIS HAIR.”) I’m talking about telling your kids how the world really works. Or maybe giving them a FEW clues before they hit it themselves. Because I’m still learning every day, and there’s something to be said for experiencing things for the first time that make you say, “Oh, I get it now.” You probably won’t hear me tell them that they’ll play for the Red Wings or the Shock “without a doubt”. Because when they find out Santa was a fib, they’re still kids. But when they find out their guaranteed spot in the Tigers lineup isn’t a guarantee, sometimes they could be 25 years old. Ouch.

I’m looking for advice, but I’m leaning towards a very realistic approach from now on.

Lastly, for the TDs of the world: GET A LIFE! You look like a fool at the cages, man.

Like what you’re reading here at Canon Fodder? Be sure to check in every Friday for more articles from Joe, and throughout the week for material from our other writers on staff. If you like what you see, pass it on to friends and family. Have a question or comment? Have a question or comment? Email us directly at joe@canon-fodder.com.

This entry was posted on Friday, February 22nd, 2008 at 12:01 pm and is filed under Canon Fodder, Joe Moskwa, Rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.