cheat: To violate rules deliberately, as in a game.
I would prefer even to fail with honor than to win by cheating.
– Sophocles
No, we don’t cheat. And even if we did, I’d never tell you.
– Tommy Lasorda
If you ain’t cheating, you ain’t trying.
РSports clich̩
Needless to say, there are a lot of opinions on what cheating is comprised of. Because there are so many ways to cheat, it’s hard to paint them all with the same brush. At what point does tugging on an opposing player’s jersey differ from using performance-enhancing substances? Canon Fodder is going to attempt to illustrate the various levels of cheating in the next couple of posts. With your help we will continue to adjust and rearrange this list to more closely reflect all the ways some play outside the rules of our favorite sports.
We’ll begin with the lesser offenses and move towards more heinous forms of cheating. Today we’ll examine the gray areas and our next post will wrap up our list.
Without further ado, here is Canon Fodder’s Cheating Scale.
Home Field Advantage – Although everyone has to play on the same field, not all fields play the same. Knowing the quirks of your home venue is hardly cheating, but when the field is altered to the home team’s benefit, the line between advantage and cheating becomes a little blurry.
Baseball groundskeepers are often unsung heroes for their organizations. Have a speedy, bunt-happy team? Tell the groundskeeper to grade the first and third baselines toward fair territory. Bunts will likely stay fair rather than roll foul. Are your infielders a tad slow? Allow the infield grass to grow a bit higher and take some of the zip off those screaming grounders.
Some home field advantages are purely psychological in nature. The University of Iowa painted their visiting locker room pink. NHL teams visiting Joe Louis Arena had to contend with a bench three feet shorter than the home team’s. Though these examples might not be cheating per se, they are obvious efforts to hand an advantage to the home team.
The Reputable – Sometimes certain players rather than teams enjoy an advantage over opponents. Too often we see officials in key situations give star athletes the benefit of a doubt and important, game-changing calls.
How many times have we seen a batter begin trotting to first base after a close pitch before the umpire has made a call? (Interestingly, many credit baseball legend Ted Williams for pioneering this tactic. When the Splendid Splinter started his march to first, he was daring the umpire to contradict him.)
Reputation helps players get the benefit of non-calls too. “Physical†receivers such as Michael Irvin made a career out of pushing off defenders. The same play that would likely attract a flag for offensive pass interference for a rookie wideout is considered gritty play for veteran players. Here’s a link to the “greatest receiver ever†and Irvin clearly interferes with the defender. (Keep an eye on Irvin’s left, non-catching arm during the slow motion replay around 1:04 of the clip.) [youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=RXmFM5awYzI[/youtube]
“Air†Jordan was known for his amazingly graceful dunks but nobody – especially the guys with the whistles and the ugly shirts – seemed to notice Jordan’s penchant for taking an extra step before many of those massive jumps. Apparently traveling rules don’t apply to his Airness. Here’s a link to a Jordan dunk compilation. (Though there’s no denying the athleticism at work, one can clearly see the occasional extra step being conveniently missed by officials.) [youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=lgoHPdjIWVI[/youtube]
Fudgers – This type of cheating occurs when players make “honest†mistakes. If someone notices the infraction, the player in question can say, “Honest, I thought I made the play.â€
Between phantom tags and framing pitches, baseball has its fair share of rule-benders. You’ll never get a shortstop to admit they’ve missed touching second base on a 4-6-3 double play. Catchers “frame†pitches to make it seem as if their pitcher was right on the money. On more than one occasion I’ve witnessed a player trap a ball but act as if it were a clean catch. A good fudger “sells†the play as routine.
Hockey boasts some of the worst fudgers around – goalies. The men with the big pads have a tendency to scoot out of the crease when the puck is lost underneath them for fear it’s across the goal line. If the ref doesn’t see the puck sitting on the wrong side of the line, there’s still an opportunity to sneak the biscuit out of the goal.
A common football fudging occurs when a running back is dragged to the ground and then places the ball a foot or two further than where he was tackled. Wide receivers regularly run accidental “picks†to prevent defenders from covering the intended target on a pass play. “Oh, did I knock you off your coverage? Oops.â€
Whiners – These players are becoming more prevalent in our favorite sports these days. It seems as if a player fails to perform a specific task, a foul must have been committed against them. The whiners look to implicate anyone but themselves when things don’t break the way they want.
NFL receivers are notorious for dropping balls and then pleading for a referee’s attention. Conspicuously empty hands can be expected to pantomime the throwing of a flag before the errant ball has even come to a rest on the turf.
Goaltenders spend a great deal of time lobbying for everything from goaltender interference to the offending goal scoring because of a high stick. When the goal lamp is lit, you’re just as likely to see a goaltender turn and plead his case to the closest ref as you are to see him hang his head in disappointment.
Gentlemen’s Violations – In the world of sports, certain illegal behaviors are winked at rather than outright labeled as cheating. The action in question is against the rules of the respective game, but just about every player commits the offense. Getting away with the infraction becomes the game within the game. For the most part, these are crimes of opportunity.
The NBA has always outlawed hand checking but anyone watching or playing the game knows it goes on up and down the court. Players certainly don’t complain about it because it’s a part of the overall playing style.
Hooking and interference are illegal acts in hockey but if an NHL defenseman doesn’t learn to subtly master the art and properly impede opponents, they’ll find themselves quickly out of a job. The same can be said for offensive linemen in the NFL.
Baseball players work in unison to violate the rules in a gentlemanly way. From catchers conveniently scuffing the ball to aid their battery mates to a runner on base stealing signs and relaying them to the batter, there is a rich history stretching back more than a century of measures and counter-measures to combat these violations. It’s much akin to the espionage of the Cold War; there’s a battle being waged though on the surface, everything seems to be calm and tranquil.
Divers – Few players are as frustrating to compete against as divers. They’re known for flopping and flailing in an attempt to draw a call and gain an advantage for their team. A seasoned diver can embellish the slightest contact to seem as if a career-ending injury might have taken place, then moments later to come back fit as a fiddle to sink the dagger in an opposing team.
Dominic Hasek of the Detroit Red Wings has taken goalie flopping to absurd heights and Sidney “Kid†Crosby of the Penguins is trying to shake his reputation as a diver. (Unfortunately, his talent level means he’ll always draw attention from opponents and referees so Crosby will always be suspected being taken down a bit too easily.)
No group of athletes has mastered the art of diving quite like the tall men of the NBA. Need points? Send Kobe down the lane. This year alone he took 768 freebie shots from the charity stripe. The tactic of choice seems to be to wildly careen into the paint, throw up an uncontrolled shot, bellow audibly and wait for the call from the ref. The NBA…it’s FAN-tastic!
So there’s the minor half of Canon Fodder’s Cheating Scale. Regardless of where you draw the line on cheating, each of these instances is a little more serious than the previous. The really hardcore stuff will be in tomorrow’s post.
Take what we’ve got so far and digest it a bit. Did I miss something? Are these out of order? Let me know at jeff@canon-fodder.com. Once we have a comprehensive list we’ll be able to debate where our favorite players rank historically.