Archive for June, 2007

Quick Hitters

Friday, June 15th, 2007

My least-popular gimmick (at least with both of the readers offering feedback) is back to wrap-up the week that was.

The U.S. Open is being held at Oakmont Country Club near Pittsburgh.
Judging from the scores in Round Two, the tough course is forcing players to dig out their irons and play a conservative game. Mickelson’s second round was so poor (+7), he can pretty much put all his clubs away and crack open an Iron. (Iron City Beer, that is.)

Tim Duncan and the San Antonio Spurs completed their championship season by sweeping the Cleveland Cavaliers in the NBA Finals.
David Stern and the rest of the NBA are making it harder for conspiracy theorists like me to push anti-NBA agendas if they are going to permit far-superior team-oriented squads to crush inferior teams with marquee me-first superstars. One-sided affairs like this might actually add credibility to the league.

Tony Parker won the MVP for his performance in the NBA Finals.
A championship, the MVP and he’s about to marry Eva Longoria; is there anything else for me to hate about this guy?

Oh yeah, he’s French.

In other France-related news, Sopranos creator David Chase was vacationing in France in the days following the HBO series’ finale.
Vacationing or seeking asylum in a country known for embracing fugitives from justice? Considering the way the final episode ended, Chase should be considered a criminal. Not that I’m bitter, but if something unfortunate like being hit by a bus were to befall Chase and I were the only person there with a cell phone, I might be tempted to dial ‘9’, then ‘1’, then… nothing! “How’s this going to end David? Did I dial the last ‘1’? Did I hang up and walk away? Did I choke the life out of you like Tony did Christopher? See, not everyone likes open endings. Some things need finality.” Then I would sing a few bars of “Don’t Stop Believin’” and walk away.

And the bitterness would be gone.

St. Louis pitcher Adam Wainwright gave up one hit through eight innings on Wednesday night against the Kansas City Royals.
On the same day I posted on Canon Fodder about missing Justin Verlander’s no-hitter, Wainwright – a player currently on my fantasy baseball team – carried a no-hitter into the sixth inning. As if to illustrate how the baseball gods are cruelly funny, Wainwright was doing this on a night he was riding the proverbial ‘pine’ on my fantasy team. So there I was, rooting for a pitcher to lose his no-hit bid just so I could be spared the embarrassment of having a player benched when he tossed a no-no. Sometimes I really hate fantasy sports and what it does to rational human beings.

The New York Yankees are on a nine-game win streak.
Though I still believe Clemens will be more sizzle than steak, the Yankees could be a move (Mark Teixeira?) or two (Mark Buehrle?) and be right back in the mix. They might not be worrying in Boston (yet), but I’m sure every member of Red Sox Nation knows seven-and-a-half isn’t a very big lead with six head-to-head games remaining.

The NFL preseason is looming.
I’m just not ready to tackle football season yet. Give me a couple more weeks. (I’m sure all the pigskin-loving members of the fantasy league I run just bit through their lips. Sorry boys and girls, but I’m dominating my fantasy baseball league and the Tigers are contenders. I’m enjoying this while I can.)

NASCAR will be racing at Michigan International Speedway on Sunday.
A few of my friends trek to Brooklyn for this race every Fathers Day. When I asked about the allure of racing, one friend offered up the following: “You show up, drink beer all day and people watch. It’s fun.”

So if I understand this correctly, beer + deafening noise + exhaust fumes = gearhead heaven.

(If that’s the case, it won’t be long until we’ll find empty kegs of Milwaukee’s Best on the side of major expressways along with a slew of passed-out, sunburned rednecks.)

A French tennis player was hit in the genitals with a serve traveling in excess of 100 mph.
Had it been Tony Parker, it would have been karmic justice (it was another wine-drinking cheese-lover), but I laughed anyway.

Enjoying what you’ve read so far? Keep on coming to Canon Fodder and passing it on to friends and family.

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The Elusive No-Hitter

Wednesday, June 13th, 2007

Since the day of my birth there have been sixty-eight no-hitters thrown in the big leagues (eight of which were perfect games). Since I became a hardened baseball fan in 1987, there have been twenty no-hitters in the American League. I came late to the National League – 1991 and the upstart Braves – but sixteen no-hitters have occurred since my conversion to the superior game. (Yes, I truly believe the Designated Hitter is evil incarnate.) In total, there have been thirty-six opportunities for me to watch a no-hitter.

And I’ve missed each and every opportunity.

To be fair, the MLB Extra Innings package is a relatively new product so maybe two dozen of those opportunities were beyond my reach. (And catching the last three outs on ESPN hardly counts because the beauty of a no-hitter is watching it gradually unfold. Heck, Brewer fans were predicting the no-hitter early in Tuesday’s game. It’s like a slow-motion train wreck. Read the Brewerfan site’s game thread and appreciate their mounting dread.)

So that leaves me with maybe a dozen genuine opportunities to watch a no-hitter over the last twenty years. Not great odds but as a diehard fan one would think I could manage to catch a game sometime, right?

Last Thursday seemed like my day. My wife had a dentist appointment so I left work early to watch our daughter. As luck would have it, the Red Sox had a day game in Oakland (3:30 EST start). My opponent in fantasy baseball had the Oakland pitcher (Joe Blanton) while my team was sporting two men in red stockings (J.D. Drew and Dustin Pedroia) so I had a rooting interest in the game. My daughter was napping so daddy settled in for a leisurely weekday afternoon of baseball.

Curt Schilling began working his magic in the bottom of the first inning and continued for eight more glorious innings over the course of two hours and ten minutes. An error in the fifth inning by Julio Lugo sullied any chance at a perfect game, but the no-hitter was intact with two outs in the ninth. I had watched Schilling do the seemingly impossible by dominating Game Six of the 2004 ALCS over the Pinstripe Empire on a bum hoof. Now I was witnessing him throw a possible no-hitter.

Unfortunately, Lugo’s gaffe not only erased a perfect game, it meant leadoff hitter Shannon Stewart would get a fourth crack at Schilling with two outs in the ninth. With a simple shake-off, the no-hitter was gone and the game was little more than a 1-0 pitcher’s duel. (Do you think Varitek felt a little like Crash Davis when Schill shook him off? I think he may have been tempted to say, “Shannon, here comes the deuce. And when you speak of me, speak well.”)

One more opportunity had gone by the wayside.

As some of you know, I attend a fair amount of Tiger games. The family has had access to season ticket packages in one form or another going back to Tiger Stadium. One rule I’ve abided by is not attending games on Tuesdays. I’ve other commitments that take precedence over baseball on Tuesdays. Outside of updates on my Blackberry, I’m on a baseball hiatus one evening of the week.

(This cost me the chance to witness a perfect game back in 2004 when Randy Johnson of the Diamondbacks – the first time – faced twenty-seven Braves and sent them all packing. If memory serves me right, it was a nationally televised game. The Braves had been a favorite NL team until my recent conversion to the Padres… for fantasy baseball purposes, of course. Tuesday obligations torpedoed another no-hitter.)

Interesting tidbit: During my league’s fantasy draft last year, with the second-from-last pick, my brother and I proudly selected Justin Verlander of the Detroit Tigers. We followed it up with Curtis Granderson prompting the league’s commissioner to ask, “Who are these guys?” Though he was yet to win Rookie of the Year and the recognition that came with it, we were firmly in the Justin Verlander camp. We recognized the potential.

Fast-forward fifteen months and you’ve got the ingredients for a perfect storm. It had been twenty-three years since Jack Morris threw the last Tigers no-hitter. It had been fifty-five years since a Tiger threw a no-hitter at home (Virgil Trucks, 1952). (I’m intentionally ignoring Nolan Ryan’s 1973 no-hitter against the Tigs.) The Tigers were due. The free-swinging and recently offensively-challenged Milwaukee Brewers were in town. The Bengal bullpen had been ailing so the onus was on a starting pitcher to takeover a game and give the pen some much-needed extra rest. We already knew all about Verlander’s moxie and his filthy stuff. Most importantly, I’ve got season tickets.

But it was Tuesday.

Nine innings. Twelve Ks. Three BBs. No hits.

No hits.

Not one.

Thirty batters faced and not a single, double, triple or dinger to be had.

And I missed it.

I’m sure I’ll eventually witness a no-hitter. They happen just often enough for someone like me to scour the cable channels and find it once a season or so. But this one might sting for a little while just because of the proximity. It was there to be had.

But it was a Tuesday.

I’m sure this game will take on prominence (at least locally) akin to Wilt Chamberlain’s 100-point performance. Where little more than 4000 spectators attended the historic game in Hersheypark Arena back in ’62, announced attendance for Tuesday’s game was 33,555. Slap on a few decades to cloud the memory and the amount of people in the stands will have mushroom tenfold.

I’ll always know I wasn’t at Comerica Park or in front of my television at home because I’ll never be able to forget where I was when Justin Verlander tossed his first no-hitter. I could have been. But I wasn’t.

Though it was my hiatus, baseball and historic games don’t take days off.

Not even Tuesdays.

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Sit Back and Enjoy the Ride

Friday, June 8th, 2007

The journey is the reward.
– Chinese proverb

A reader recently shot a rather lengthy e-mail my way begging the question of which is worse – to be a fan of a team that consistently falls just short of a championship or to follow a franchise that’s rarely if ever in contention? The obvious response (to me, at least) is to say the former is much more preferable to the latter. Competitive teams are much more entertaining than consistently awful teams. (Unless you’re a masochist.)

Whether he intended it to or not, the reader’s query got me thinking about what we should expect from our favorite sports franchises. Should any fanbase be disappointed when their team falls just short of a championship? Does too much regular season success followed by post-season mediocrity breed contempt?

Living in Detroit, I’ve been blessed to watch the Red Wings (NHL), Pistons (NBA), University of Michigan Wolverines (football), Michigan State Spartans (basketball) and most recently, the Tigers (MLB) all enjoy a great deal of success in recent years. Some of these teams have been dominant for more than a decade and as a result, the expectations of their loyal throng have risen to unrealistic levels. Any season the Wolverines don’t win the Big Ten, the radio waves carry a cacophony from talking heads calling for the dismissal of the team’s head coach. And heaven forbid the Red Wings win the President’s Cup (for the best regular season record) and fail to bring home Lord Stanley’s Cup to sit alongside of it. Pistons fans are beginning to sound eerily similar too. The mentality seems to be win or don’t bother. The gulf between champion and runner-up seems to be greater than that between second place and worst in the league. Sooner or later, we’ll stop calling it “second place” and start labeling it “first loser”.

Don’t believe me? Look at the Atlanta Braves. Here’s a team that has enjoyed an unprecedented run of success going back to the early 1990s. Near the tail end of their incredible string of fourteen consecutive division titles, the team had troubles selling out their new stadium for playoff games. It’s with stunning regularity you’ll hear someone speak of their success only to downgrade it by mentioning the fact the Braves only managed to win a single World Series during that time. An organization that went to five championships in nine years is considered to be a failure by some critics because they lost four of the five times. During this same stretch of time, the Florida Marlins managed a pair of World Series championships in their only two trips to the post-season and are often thought of as a more successful organization. Two post-season berths compared to fourteen? Fans have become so jaded in Atlanta (and across the nation) as to expect the Braves to flounder in the post-season.

Compare this with the fate of the Kansas City Royals year after year. Since their World Series victory in 1985, the Royals haven’t been to the post-season even once. In the twenty-one seasons since then, Royals fans have seen their favorite team peak three times in second place in their division. Considering Kansas City is the absolute antithesis of Atlanta, I’m sure any blue-blooded Royal fan would opt to punch a Braves fan in the face rather than be subjected to talk of why it’s a shame the Braves can’t be more successful. There’s little sympathy to be found in Kansas City (and in a dozen other baseball towns) because Atlanta fans don’t know how good they have it.

The same goes for Red Wings fans. If a diehard Blackhawk fan were to haul off and slug a Red Wing fan bemoaning their lack of post-season prowess, well, I wouldn’t blame the Chicago fan.

And Arizona Cardinals fans have a chip on their collective shoulder big enough to have a right to attack any sports fan so be careful around them too.

In the end, my advice to fans of any team is to sit back and enjoy the ride. If your team has been riding high, take in a few games and bask in the warmth of winning. It won’t last forever. (Even Yankee fans are coming to this realization.) Is your team rebuilding? Embrace the up-and-coming talent. Watch them develop into elite professionals. Say you knew-them-when. And if your team is a veritable dog, adopt a second team. Though sports polygamy is a dicey subject with some diehards, can anyone really blame fans of the Detroit Lions, Arizona Cardinals, Kansas City Royals, Pittsburgh Pirates, LA Clippers, Golden State Warriors, Chicago Blackhawks, Boston Bruins or anyone from Cleveland or Philadelphia if they started following another team just to feel what it’s like to cheer again? It’s grown men playing children’s games. Get an icy beer, a hot dog, a comfy seat and enjoy the show. It’s supposed to be fun. Relax.

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