By Craig Dumas

First off, I do live in a rural setting. The country. The sticks. Podunk, if you will. And I do realize that certain (most) things can, and do, happen go undetected by the law. There are certain liberties one can enjoy more fully in my neck of the woods. That being said…

I would like to inform you that there seems to be no reprimand for those whom engage in poaching and illegal hunting in general. I’ll explain. Two weeks back, I happened to notice a pair of large garbage bags rippling in the breeze and a fresh carcass lying in the ditch within 100 feet of my driveway. As I inspected the corpse, I realized this was the work of a true master as the deer was stripped of all its meat leaving little more than a head, four feet, and skeletal remains. It kind of looked like an anorexic with socks, gloves, and hat. I know this because I am an avid hunter and do my own butchering, thus recognizing the technique and skill taken to harvest this unfortunate critter. Every scrap and morsel was gone from this deer. This was a clear-cut example of an experienced butcher knowing what to take and leave under time constraints plus doing said act in the dark. Any law-abiding hunter should have nothing to hide having taken a deer legally with a tag or proof of license, and disposing of the remains in the proper fashion instead of dumping them along any given road late at night to conceal the crime. It’s not like there isn’t an abundance of wooded property out here to do the dumping. And what’s with the bags? Isn’t it easier to just leave the disembowelments and skinning where they lay for the ease decay? Here is where the guilt comes into play. They must have done the killing on their own property and didn’t want to catch hell if the DNR came a-knockin’!

First, I contacted the local sheriff’s department. They said there was nothing they could do referring me to the local waste department (DPW). They told me they would not pick it up nor could do anything with it. Next, I called the state police. They said, “All we do is push aside the carcasses, if possible, not remove them. Let nature take its course,” is what I was told. Then I contacted the RAP (Report All Poaching) line and they told me if I didn’t see it happening, there was nothing they could do. (Whatever happened to the CSI-type techniques we have available? Oh yeah, this is real life.) I could try burying it or even try disposing of it myself if it bothered me. (With my luck, the authorities would be sitting right around the corner and bust me for the crime with bloody hands!). I’m sure I’ve seen and/or heard of some sort of company or local county branch of the government removing the animals from the roadways. Maybe it was just my imagination.

I’m not naïve enough to think poaching doesn’t happen here; it does. And it will continue to do so as long as we have rural settings. I am, however, in wonder as to why the local, state and federal governments try to instill the fear of Big Brother in us not to do these illegal acts when literally nothing is done about it when reported. I mean, who doesn’t at least visually locate your weapon when the DNR officer comes knocking on your trailer door anticipating trouble? (Editor’s note: Huh?!) I agree to living off the land and supplying for the family to an extent but isn’t that how we got the government involved in the first place? They saw that we, the people, were starting to rape and deplete the land of free-ranging wildlife and figured, Hey, can’t we, the government, make them pay for a license to hunt, thus keeping the herd count at a viable number, all the while encouraging future seasons of hunting and monies collected? How am I, or any law-abiding hunter, supposed to respect and stand by the laws and support the DNR or the MUCC when they do not return the favor by utilizing our tax dollars and make the most of them to reinforce the laws and encourage us to do things properly? No, they try to encourage us by hiring (with our money) some yahoo or two to host a show (with our money) on our local public TV station to show us the benefits of hunting and how great it is to spend your entire time outdoors. If anyone is interested in hunting in any aspect, don’t we already know these benefits?

Editor’s note: At this point, I know Craig’s face was beet red. He may have even yelled at his dog because it was desperate to go outside and relieve itself but master was too busy cursing and poking angrily at the glowing box he’s always talking to. I’ll bet his blood pressure is jettisoning up the dial because he really, honestly, believes his nearly 800-word rant. (This is the main reason why Craig doesn’t work in the office environment anymore; the littlest things drive him crazy. The only profession he’s currently fit for is school bus driver. And he’s considering it. Seriously.)

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