Archive for January, 2008

Gambler’s Corner: Playoff Edition – Week 2

Friday, January 11th, 2008

By Joe Moskwa

I would have to say this is my favorite playoff weekend of the entire NFL season. But before I get to my rambling, let’s recap last week’s games.

It was like the Seahawks were saying to the ‘Skins in the third quarter last week, “Miss this field goal and you’re DONE.”

Props to Eli for winning his first playoff game.

Titans? How did you make the playoffs without moving the ball an INCH all year?

And I heard the LAMEST statistic during the Steelers – Jags game last week. It went something like this: “The Steelers have never lost to the same team twice at home in one season before”. Let’s think about this for a moment. Look at any NFL team’s schedule any given season. Peep their home games. Yup, you guessed it; eight DIFFERENT opponents for eight different games. Great stat, Sherlock. If I hadn’t been pounding beers all day I would tell you who came up with this little nugget of non-wisdom.

Anyway, yes this is my favorite playoff week. We have four games to watch again, and I’d say at least six of these remaining teams are worthy of a title. As for last week? It looked nice on paper, but wasn’t as exciting as I had thought it would be. I did go 3-1 straight up, which I feel is a feat. Before I looked at the spreads for this week, I was pumped up at the thought of some good games. But Vegas says they are ALL going to be blowouts. I hope they’re wrong. I just want to see at least a couple of close games. If I were to wager? I’d probably (maybe) take the points in all games but the Indy game. I’m feeling an Indy POUNDING on the Chargers, but the game I’m most interested in watching is, of course, the Pats-Jags game. Which reminds me, I heard there’s another conference of teams playing some big games this weekend. I’m told they call themselves the “NFC”. (Okay, I made this joke a few days ago and someone said I should put it in the blog. I really don’t mean it, Brett, I swear. Same to you Terrell, I hope we’re still boys).

Onto the picks…

Divisional Playoffs – Saturday, Jan. 12
#3 Seattle Seahawks at #2 Green Bay Packers – Pack by 7.5
Let’s play a game while watching this. Let’s count how many times they show the Matt Hasselbeck “We want the ball and we’re gonna SCORE,” clip during the game. After that, let’s count how many times they mention Holmgren’s return to Lambeau. And that Holmgren was a mentor to Favre, and now a mentor to Hass. Also, I might have to break a Golden Rule of gambling. Pack at home always automatic? Right? Sure, I feel they’ll win. But something about Holmgren’s return says to take the points. Pack by 4-6.
PICK: Take the Waterfowl and the points (+7.5), but the Pack still wins.

#5 Jacksonville Jaguars at #1 New England Patriots – Pats giving 13.5
Well, here it is. Like I said, Jacksonville and Indy are the two teams with a prayer of knocking off the Pats. But what Vegas is saying here is the Pats aren’t going to let ANYONE stop them from finishing what they started. I’m calling a close game with New England making an extra play or two at the end, and winning by about 10.
PICK: Take the black cats and all those points (+13.5), but the Pats prevail.

Divisional Playoffs – Sunday, Jan. 13
#3 San Diego Chargers at #2 Indianapolis Colts – Bolts getting 9.5
It would be a total waste of NFL space if the Chargers were going to New England this weekend. I’m still just not sold on Philip Rivers. He does nothing for me. A total stud TE and the best RB in the game just doesn’t get an AFC team to the Super Bowl. Even with one of the FASTEST defenses in the game. I wonder if they would’ve kept Brees if he didn’t get hurt in his last game out there? I hope the Browns aren’t about to pull a ‘Chargers’ and dump their Brees (Derek Anderson) for their Rivers (Quinn). Anyway, this is the defending champions’ first playoff game of the season. ROLLLL Peyton roll.
PICK: Give the points and take the Colts.

#5 New York Giants at #1 Dallas Cowboys – ‘Boys by 7.5
The Cowboys and Jaguars are my sleepers this playoff season. Well, it’s hard to call the top seed a sleeper, but I don’t think people realize how close Dallas is to winning the Super Bowl this year. Terrell says get the popcorn ready for this one. As for the Giants? I don’t see them laying down. They’re gonna be able to move the ball. If I were to bet on this one, I’d have to take the points. Plus, they’re HOT. My bet is that this will be the best game of the group.
PICK: G-Men and the touchdown, (+7.5).

STRONGEST PICK: Indy –9.5
SECOND STRONGEST PICK: Giants + 7.5
BETTINGTIP: Tell your bookie that you’re staying away from the Pack and Pats this week. Just turn on the tube and enjoy the show.

Nerds of War

Wednesday, January 9th, 2008

By Michael Kelsch

Another article about Battlefront II you say? Yep, another. :)

Emoticons are sometimes used in BFII, but mostly you get LOL!!! There are some folks who abuse the language, but they’re usually booted from the session.

**Klaxton alarm sounding**

And means we discovered our Battlefront II Term of the Day.

boot·ed [boo-tid] – adjective: Wasting any slag, no matter how insignificant, just for the joy of counting how many cartwheels their broken corpse does before it tags the ground.

(See, it is a sport) :)

The other guys get upset and throw you out. The reasons you can get thrown out are varied, as we will see in a moment, but the above-mentioned reason is one I’m trying to work my way up to.

Usually I get booted for inactivity. I forget to end my session when I finish playing and come back later to find I was booted from the session. For a while there, I didn’t realize it was rude to hold the spot that someone else could be using on the server. The reasons for booting are different from server to server. It’s tough to get booted from Empire Ownage because they will let the more advanced players of the game use their detailed knowledge of the boards’ dark side. The secret nooks and crannies that are difficult to hide in just really excite some people. They certainly excite me. I’ve learned a few of the tricks (typically because they’ve been used against me so often), but tend not to rely on them.

It is important to know when it’s fair to use these dirty secrets. If you’re up against superior odds, then it’s a good idea to do some spawn camping. If you’re getting beat down like Robin Givens, then go take a tank into the walls and lay waste to any spawn campers. Just know the right time to use these techniques. Otherwise I may vote to boot you… :)

Man, I’m like a tiger on a Vegas performer today! Speaking of…

It’s been reported Siegfried and Roy (not a sport, though rumor has it they do employ many Greco-Roman wrestling techniques) are planning a comeback? The truth is stranger than fiction.

(What does this have to do with a Star Wars-based online game? Nothing really. I just needed mention a story fifteen months out-of-date and couldn’t work it in. Frankly, I can’t get over it. How do you get mauled by a tiger in front of an audience, barely survive, and have the desire to do it again. Roy, we understand if you just hang up the sequined cape. Nobody is going to call you a quitter. We’ll call you ‘smart’. As they say, once bitten, twice… Roy?)

Uh, back to the nerdy stuff…

The Golden Rule when you’re playing BFII online against other enemy opponents is: Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself. DEnis09 is a master of that principal. He plays mainly excellent defense, but can consistently chop 40-75 kills per battle without significant spawn camping. He loads other people’s tanks up with mines and sends them to the frontline to ram other tanks and – BLAMO!! – the battering ram bomber brings their tank back to get some more ammo and DEnis09 obliges.

The Golden Rule will win you respect among your peers in Battlefront II. I give folks mines all the time. Another fun tactic is sneaking into the enemy field on Kashyyyk and stealing enemy speeders and tanks. I don’t get them all the time, but when I do, it’s very satisfying. Not only is it a crippling blow to enemy forces, but then DEnis09 puts mines on your hot ride and you can go off into battle to score or tank kill.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQmAHWAba-Q[/youtube]

Another rule is play well. Moby just kicks me around like an empty can every time he sees me. He just rolls and dodges and then effortlessly drops a “Det-pack” right at my feet. BLAMO!! Have you ever watched old footage of Tyson laying waste to an opponent?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeL2VAEaAEU&feature=related[/youtube]

It’s kind of like that but with computers and Star Wars music.

Out.

Gambler’s Corner: Playoff Edition – Week 1

Friday, January 4th, 2008

By Joe Moskwa

The playoffs are here, and from the looks of things, this weekend should be entertaining. I absolutely love these match-ups, and it’s hard to not pull for ALL of the teams involved.

Even though I already talked about how slow it can seem to watch a lone NFL game – due to the endless commercials and how long the red-flag challenges are – I’m really looking forward to it. I won’t even mention this again, but there ARE a couple of things I’m still not sold on. First, division winners; I still stand by the fact I believe winning a division is very overrated. Take Tampa Bay for instance. They’re one of my favorite teams, I’ve been to their stadium, I’m a huge Garcia, Galloway fan, but they finished 9-7. 9-7 is okay, but they are HOSTING a first round game? Hosting a 10-6 team? Just because they won a division? It’s like the Giants are being penalized for being in the same division as the Cowboys. This will happen almost every year when the number of divisions in each conference (4) doubles the number of non-division winning wild card teams (2) every year. The same goes for Jacksonville (11-5) traveling up to play in Pittsburgh (Steelers 10-6) this Sunday. C’mon NFL, it should go by record.

The other thing I’m not sold on? The New England Patriots winning the Super Bowl. Now while I’d LOVE to make a bold prediction and pick a specific team that’s going to knock off the PATS (say the Colts), and then stick by it and see it come true. But I’m not doing that. All I’m really saying is the Pats put a lot of energy into the regular season, and there are going to be two VERY powerful AFC teams GUNNING for them soon. My call is the two Patriots games will be close, and I won’t be surprised if they get knocked off. The Jags are sound, and the Colts are still the champs. I’d mention the Chargers here, but I don’t think they are built correctly to knock off this year’s Patriots. The Colts and/or Jags will come closest, and if one of those two makes the Super Bowl, the Colts take the Cowboys, but the Cowboys take out the Jags. If the Pats make the Super Bowl? Blowout win.

Okay, onto the picks.

Saturday
Washington Redskins (9-7) at Seattle Seahawks (10-6)
– Waterfowls by 3.5
Maxim magazine picked Joe Gibbs as one of their top five coaches this year – to get fired. Nice call guys. Others mentioned? Coach Crennel of the Browns, and Coach McCarthy of the Packers. See? I’m not the ONLY one making bad picks! Also, my BIGGEST pet peeve around here in Michigan: All the fans that root for the Patriots just because Tom Brady went to Michigan. Yeah that’s real hard to root for the top team. And most of them are women. Drives me nuts. One woman I know went to Michigan State, and she didn’t believe me when I mentioned Brady went to Michigan. The others? Quick, name the quarterback Brady replaced. Hint: He also took the Pats to a Super Bowl. [dead silence]. Who is the QB for the Redskins? [dead silence]. It’s Todd Collins. What college did he attend? [dead silence]. This is what I have to deal with around here. “Visiting season” just passed (that’s where I get stuck going to gatherings on Sundays, and I have to listen to simple-minded statements while football is on), and when I have to hear someone rooting for the Pats and not the ‘Skins, it’s almost the same as rooting for Bill Gates and the big oil companies. Anyway, my point here is: Go Todd Collins. I hope you have a starting job next year. The rest of you? Your fanhood has been revoked.
PICK: Gibbs and the racial slurs! (+3.5)

Jacksonville Jaguars (11-5) at Pittsburgh Steelers (10-6) – Iron City getting 3
Don’t get me started on how the Jags have to fly up to the Steel City. Oh wait, I already got started. Okay, I called the Jags “boring to watch” this year. I did. Well, that’s probably because they play playoff-style football in the regular season. Run, manage the clock, run, manage the clock, play sound defense, play sound defense. All the little things you’ll NEVER see out of the Detroit Lions. I’m looking forward to the Jags taking this one outright.
PICK: Black Cats giving the figgie. (-3)

Sunday
New York Giants (10-6) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9-7)
– Bucs by 3
Another fun game to watch. I still can’t stress how much I love this week’s games. I’d go to this game… if my wife would let me. Odds of that happening? 0%. Not even 0.5 or 0.7. Zero. Thank god there’s this new invention that I just adore. It’s called the television. And mine will be tuned into channel Tampa this Sunday. Pick? Giants. By about 4. Why? Because I’m calling it now! The MANNING-MANNING Super Bowl! (Just kidding). Eli isn’t quite there yet.
PICK: G-Men and the figgie. (+3)

Tennessee Titans (10-6) at San Diego Chargers (11-5) – Bolts by 10
The Titans released Steve McNair last year because he always seemed to be getting hurt. His replacement? Vince Young. This is like the time a buddy of mine got rid of his black Labrador retriever because she sheds too much, but then he goes out and gets a German shepherd. If Vince Young even plays this Sunday, we won’t know for how long. There’s a good chance a Nittany Lion will be taking some Titan snaps on Sunday. PICK? The Chargers are charged, LT is rolling, and I gotta take the Bolts at home. Covering the spread? Probably not. Only because the Titans had them on the ropes a few weeks back, and Jeff Fisher rarely lets his team lay down.
PICK: Take the Thumbtacks and all those points. (+10)

And here’s a little preview for 2008 you can start paying attention to right now. Quarterbacks to watch for next year in regards to them starting or not, and WHERE they’ll be playing: Steve McNair, Todd Collins, Drew Stanton, Chris Redman, Kurt Warner.

Happy New Year.