By Jeffrey Petts
How long is eleven months?
You could have met a girl (or a fella), gone on a few dates, gotten intimate, knocked up, and experience the joy of waking up every night to crying baby. (I didn’t do that.)
You could have your favorite website hacked, dismantled, and spent much too much time attempting to recover the archives. (We did that.)
If you were invested in the stock market, it’s probably been eleven months since you’ve seen anything positive on your bottom line. (We all did that.)
You might have lost a job. (You would have something in common with about 4,999,999 other former employed folks.)
You could have made a couple of short films:
(Both were written by yours truly, with more in production.)
It takes Eleven months for an NHL team to return to the finals and defend their Stanley Cup title. (The Red Wings are currently doing that.)
Your hometown team’s quarterback could have made a bold 10-win prediction before a dismal 0-16 campaign and being run out of town. (Good riddance, Mr. Kitna.)
Then again, your hometown team’s sophomore running back could attempt to one-up dismissed QB by guaranteeing a playoff berth. (What were you thinking, Kevin Smith?)
You could go from writing full-time to toiling away in an automobile factory for six months only to be let go two days before Christmas. (Unfortunately, I did that too.)
In eleven months you could play two seasons of beer league hockey and combine them for a total of four wins. (Ugh. It was a long winter session of hockey this year.)
You could be called out of softball semi-retirement… only to play 10 innings, flash some leather, and promptly re-tear your hamstring. (It looks like I’m walking on a purple drumstick.)
In eleven months Justin Verlander went from being the Tigers staff ace, to potential fire sale trade bait, back to an ace. (And they said Todd Jones was a rollercoaster.)
Needless to say, a lot can happen in eleven months. Most importantly, eleven months is about how long it’s been since you’ve been able to enjoy any new material from Canon Fodder.
(Until now.)
Get back into the habit of checking in on Canon Fodder. We’re back. Some old contributors are back with a few new ones sprinkled in for added flavor. Expect more of the same sports-related humor with a little more focus on home teams. Just as before, you can send your complaints, comments and suggestions to jeff@canon-fodder.com.